"Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves."
-- Virginia Satir
We came up with this program for the adolescent fathers because according to our researches, adolescent fathers who don’t know how to manage their families, affect the community. We believe that good community starts from the right way of nurturing a child from the family.
By doing this, our program aims to teach them how to nurture their future family without distracting their education and social life. This blog contains details about the program that we offer. 3 days of reflecting, refreshing and relaxing while learning the steps how to manage fatherhood at an early age.
PROFILE OF GROUP MEMBERS:
Iris Janel Lim
Personality Test
Personality Test
Charmaine Plamenco
Personality Test
Review Related Literature:
Patrick Potter, 17, has an eight-month-old son, Jamie. He lives with his mum in County Durham, round the corner from his girlfriend Rachel, who lives with her mum and Jamie.
If I hadn’t had Jamie, I’d be in jail. Before Rachel got pregnant with him, I was being arrested practically every day. I’d got in with the wrong crowd and started smashing windows, pinching things and breaking into empty properties. Eventually, when my mum couldn’t cope with it any longer, I went to live in a residential home, but things only got worse.
Everything changed from the moment Jamie came along. I felt this massive sense of responsibility and decided to do everything from stopping smoking to giving up the friends I’d been hanging around with. I’d been with Rachel for about a year when we found out she was pregnant. She was still at school, and was on the pill, so we were shocked. Abortion was out of the question. We never think of abortion a solution in our problem – neither of us believe in it. But I was frightened. It was only very close to the birth that I started getting excited.
The birth was really quick. Jamie was born after just three hours. It was terrifying, though, because he wasn’t breathing properly. He had to be taken to resuscitation and we didn’t see him for a good few hours. Later, when I was able to hold him, that’s the moment my life changed.
Now that my mum sees I’ve changed, I’m living back with her. She’s been really supportive. My dad, who lives separately, hasn’t. He calls me a pathetic little kid and says I’m not fit to be a dad. Now that Jamie’s here, he wants to see him, but he can forget that.
We live apart but last year we got engaged. I got to visit my child everyday and weekend. I work in property maintenance as my part time job. The main downside is that I can’t do simple things like go to the cinema when I want. But the positives are that I’ll grow up with Jamie and my relationship with Rachel is stronger than ever. Now i watch my child grow.
Ciaran Gentry, 17, and his girlfriend Antonia, also 17, have a son, Frankie, who is six months old. They both live in Barking, Outer London — Antonia with her foster family and Frankie; Ciaran, who works for London Underground, lives with his mum.
I asked Antonia to have an abortion when I found out. I was scared. We’d only been together three months and I didn’t feel ready to be a dad. I was still in college, studying engineering operations, and didn’t want to drop out. Antonia, who was training to be a hairdresser, didn’t believe in abortion, so there was a lot of arguing. But in the end, I thought, OK, I’ve got to stick by them both.
It has worked out really well – I finished college and now work for London underground and my relationship with Antonia is rock solid. Best of all, I love being a dad.
Antonia and Frankie live a 20-minute bus ride away. The birth was the most incredible thing ever. When I saw how much pain Antonia was in, I felt sick. But when that passed, I was able to support her, and watching Frankie finally come out was amazing. Seeing him made me the proudest man in the world. I
burst into tears.
burst into tears.
I’m starting to see all the good sides of being a young dad. I think Frankie will be closer to me because I won’t be some old man at the school gates who he’s embarrassed of. When he tells me stuff like he doesn’t want to go to school, I’ll be able to say, ‘Listen, I was trying that one only a few years ago. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes!’
The downside is that it feels a bit like I haven’t lived my life. My friends all go down the pub while I’m indoors doing night feeds. But then again, I’ve got this wonderful kid.
Kenneth Pervis, 26, was 18 when his girlfriend Angela, then also 18, became pregnant with their daughter Georgia, now eight.
I couldn’t believe it when Angela told me she was pregnant. We’d only been together a few weeks. I wasn’t at all happy. I remember thinking, what will happen to the time I have with my friends? How will I cope?
I was involved with drink, drugs and crime at the time – fighting on street corners and shoplifting. I wasn’t in employment – and nor was Angela.
I didn’t get there in time for Georgia’s birth, but I saw her a few hours later. I’m not saying it was easy. Angela and I lived separately, each with our parents. I was 20 before we were able to get a place together. Then there was the sheer hard work of looking after a baby. And I was trying to wean myself off the drink and drugs, which I finally achieved by the time I was 21.
One of the things that struck me after Georgia was born was the lack of support for young dads. I decided to set a group up myself where dads could get advice and spend time with their children one-to-one. I did a sponsored walk and raised money in other ways too. I set it up in Springwell Village, where I lived. Later, with the help of Barnardo’s, I set up a young dads’ group in Newcastle.
Both are going really well. Through Barnardo’s, I’ve done a course in counselling, an IT course, I’ve won a youth achievement award for my work with the charity and I’m going to learn about child safety. I’m planning to use all this to get some paid work.
I hate the way everyone is so judgmental of young dads, especially officials like doctors and housing people.
I hate the way everyone is so judgmental of young dads, especially officials like doctors and housing people.
Everyone disses you and assumes you can’t cope. I have coped, and I love my family as much as any older dad. But I would never advise guys to plan to have a child really young.
Based on our researches, not all adolescent fathers are deprived of their happiness. Some became successful and loves being a dad.
1st day- breakfast
-introduce yourself and getting to know other adolescent fathers and mentors
-studying general subjects
-teach them how to earn by doing basic marketing, engineering,like "tesda"
-teach them how to take care of their babies like changing diapers, feeding the baby and "lullaby" them.
-Lunch
-talk about finding your identity, relationship with family and friends (psychologist or councelor)
-reflect on what you want in life
-sharing and group hugs,giving positive comments to each other
2nd day
-Breakfast
-Talk about managing your time and stress (school,friends,family,priorities in life)
-Lunch & Dinner
3rd day
3rd day
Breakfast
-Talk about fighting your insecurities (adler)
Guest speaker( a successful adolescent father )
-Lunch
-Lunch
-Family talks to the adolescent father gives support and advices(esteem needs and love and belonginess,self efficacy-social persuation)
-Confession
-Mass gospel that talks about your worth in life (self actualization)
-Dinner
THEORIES:2. introduce yourself and getting to know other adolescent fathers and mentors (improves relationship with others)
3. studying general subjects ( develop academics)
4. teach them how to take care of their babies like changing diapers, feeding the baby and "lullaby" them (love and belongingness felt by the baby)
5.sharing and group hugs,giving positive comments to each other
(love and belonginess)
6. talk about finding your identity, relationship with family and friends (psychologist or counselor) (establish identity and clear direction in life)
7. reflect on what you want in life (establish identity and clear direction in life)
8. Talk about managing your time and stress (school, friends, family,priorities in life) (self efficacy-stress)
9. Talk about fighting your insecurities and inferiority (Adler)
Guest speaker (a successful adolescent father) (Vicarious
experience)
experience)
10. Family talks to the adolescent father gives support and advises(esteem needs and love and belonginess,self efficacy-social persuasion)
11. Mass gospel that talks about your worth in life (self actualization)
